Seek and ye shall find!

Ask and it will be given to you
Seek and you shall find
It really does not work that way
Does it?

Ask she did.
She asked in no unclear terms.
She sought you, has she ever let you feel otherwise?
Although she was cautioned against it.
They said, "Keep the mystery alive!"
"It helps". But as helplessly as she was in love
(Or should I say hopelessly)
She did not care much about mysteries.

Then, she had always loved hopelessly.
Don't they all do?
That's the only way she knew.
With all that she had and beyond.

Didn't she tell you, "Don't ask me in the river!
I become a river myself and flow..
Without sparing a thought for the embankments"

She has always been very poor in measurements
Mathematics has never been her cup of tea!
She could never figure out which channel will hold how much,
What will overflow!
And she could not keep a tab when
the basin got filled with all that she kept bringing
From far away lands
And gave up when it could not take no more!

"But, I thought the depths are endless in you!"
She muttered in pain.
"I thought I can bring more ...
I thought it will help filling your emptiness...
There will always be more space for the river!"

But it really does not work that way...Does it?

Then they also say you do not seek love
Love is what comes naturally
You seek help.
But, she sought that too.
I have to agree she was never convincing.
She wrapped it carefully in her willingness to be patient
She offered to hear when she needed a patient hearing.
She tried to take refuge in peals of laughter.
Sadness was such an inconvenient reality!
She never fell short of finding small, little
even fleeting images of happiness to hide behind.
It is difficult to forget your years of learning
"You must keep your needs the last", they taught
It is difficult to make it inconvenient for others
It is almost impossible to say, "Save me! I need help!"
But, she did the impossible. Or so I thought.

She sought help in no unclear words.
But the words often got entangled in her patience
her colors, her chores, her non stop humming
her incessant chatter, her laughter...
And never reached you.
But help is something she really needed
I know, she needed someone to be patient enough
To remove layers of laughter to reach the depths of sadness.

But it really does not work that way...does it?

কেষ্টা র ঘাড়ে চেষ্টা

সব কিছু ফেল, হয়ে যাবে জেল
তবু  করে যাই চেষ্টা
চিতকার ক'রি  প্রাণপনে  হাঁকি 
তোলপাড়  করি দেশটা

এত চেষ্টার ভার কে যে বয়?
সেই পুরাতন কেষ্টা ?
রাতদিন ধোঁকে, বসন্তে মরে
তবু ব'য়ে চলে চেষ্টা!

ম'রবে তো ম'র', যা ক'রবে ক'র'
ছাড়ব' না আমি চেষ্টা
কেষ্টার বাণী আমি খুবই মানি
দেখেই ছাড়ব' শেষটা!

শেষ দ্যাখে কে যে?
শেষ কবে হবে ?
কে যে রবে ভবে, শেষটা!
ব'য়ে চল ভার, নাই তো কাহার 

বেঁচে থাক তুই কেষ্টা।

Nihilism: my way!

I must tell you I do not agree with you!
Okay!  I agree thats an over-statement!
Let me rephrase...
I do not agree with you most of the time.
And yes. You got it right.
I did not agree with you the other night
When I said, "You know better!"
I meant, "You of course don't understand".

No. I do not think wishes grow when you keep them buried.
I do not agree on that either.
They are not like bamboo culms.
You can not keep them buried for five years
And then expect to see it above the ground..
Followed by a fast, vertical, gravity defying growth
That astounds the whole world!
No. that won't happen.
Because wishes are not like bamboo.

Wishes on the contrary are like the great banyan 
They hide in them the whole universe of possibilities
But they die when left on the ground. 

They need you to grow
Its not a tree. Its a fig.And (I repeat)..
It grows only if it finds a place in you.
It sends its roots through you to reach the ground.
Wishes that way, become grounded only much later!

Like the banyan they engulf you. Completely.
Give wishes the space they need,
The aerial prop roots will spread 
And turn into thick woody trunks.
You will soon forget which one of them was you, originally.
Are you ever enough prepared for your wishes!
Can you ever be?

I must also tell you I am on a mission these days
I am looking for people who "want"
Who "wish", who "desire" and who "live"!
I am so not looking for another bunch of naysayers
I am already quite a handful myself!

I say no to all those cynicism you pass on
I say no to all those hatred you want to spread
I say no to all the despair, the frustrations, the darkness
I refuse to accept all of these that you offer!
I am not going to apologize for being an optimist fool.
(And) I am not going to be sorry that still stand by my values
I am never going to make an apology for being what I am! Ever!

And I am not even stopping at that.
Till you say yes to love, life and living
I will keep saying "no"!