The one you could send away

I am being sent away. 

Again!
For the umpteenth time.
Who was I this time?
Who did you send away?

That girl who sat with you all through your journey 
When you traveled from Sawantwadi to Pernem.
That young girl whom you’d love to see again.
You felt forever grateful to the booking clerk
For giving her a seat beside you.
You could view the beautiful Konkan landscape, together.
Through one wide carriage-window.
And you thought, "All my life beside this girl
I’d gladly travel through the world."
Alas! She never looked back.

Or that girl whom you met near your door?
She needed to know her way in Karachi
and lost her's into you.
You had told her, you were to marry someone else.
And you shared nothing beyond the oral pleasures.
"I am a shy man", you said. "Do not expect much". 
She persisted. But then one day, decided,
Downtown is not somewhere she wanted to go anymore!
She had made up her mind.
And this, even before you, yourself could actually marry and move on.
She did not care any more about your pleasures 
And pleasurable pains.
She sent you off! 
She went the way she came. Sudden. Just like that.

Looking for another way perhaps.
She defied every logic. 
Were you trying to send her away this time? 

Or, was I that classmate? Your first love?
She admired you with her eyes in a way that
Her eyelashes brushed your cheeks every time you looked at her.
She lit up the deserted streets in the spring evenings by simply walking through them.
Sudden showers seemed her forte.
They were at her beck and call. 
But then she grew up and realized you did not!
She studied hard. 

Moved to a bigger city. 
A city pregnant with possibilities...
Where you became a memory for her. 
Was I that girl when you sent me away this time? 

I came to tell you stories.
There are so many tales to tell you still.
A part of me wants to sit with you and tell you
About a wanderer at heart who built a peaceful home.
Unhurried. Sun and clouds take their time lazing there. 
And about these strong, upright women 

Who love being enveloped in friendly hugs.
A globe trotter who leaves herself in her motherland.
She comes back every time to find her, again!  
About a wounded heart who loves protecting others'.
About someone struggling to get out of a maze...
How they push inch by inch and do not give up!
I thought of telling you about dreams, 

About forests, and rivers...
And of course people.
Stories are almost always about people.

But I will tell you none of these.
This time, I will let you send me away.
I want to go away precisely when you ask me to
And I would hope that it helps. 
I hope it settles the score! 

One final time.

Although, I know scores can't be settled that way..

But still I would...

Because I believe, 
Once you see you can send away too,
And go away when you want to..
You will find a way of getting back.
To yourself.