It feels I never learned to love.
I only thought love is a deep friendship
And caring for the other
And that deep desire to prolong the meeting,
as much as possible....
It seems I could not have been further,
from the definition of true love.
I waited for love, still.
Or that's what I thought!
I then started working towards getting some.
From the man, who was ordained by his social position to love me! (Poor him! in retrospect)
'Though they said, "Do not seek love at any cost
For love does not have a price!"
I still went ahead.
In your youth you are not supposed to learn from popular wisdom!
I kept trying and then forgot to stop!
In hindsight, it seems, it was inertia of motion.
Inertia of motion. That is exactly what it is even now.
I can not stop talking to you once I start.
I therefore try not to speak at all.
But you do not allow that, do you?
You want to talk but you do not want to continue.
You want to reach out but you can not be a friend.
You want me to stay but you can not love.
You lost that in you..
You have to have follies to be a friend.
You have to have the courage to be vulnerable, to love.
Your sentences have to be imperfect,
Laced with emotions that you felt.
You could not be infallible then.
I miss that imperfect friend in you.
I missed the friend in him too.
The friend that he once was.
The desire of friendship that replaced the desire of love,
As the lack of love became a reality that I lived with.
But the bar was set too low
And the disappearance was slow.
It took me years to understand I lost that too.
The temperature of the water was raised ever so slowly
And like the proverbial frog, I missed the danger signals.
I was boiled in the same water that I thought was my world.
Frogs we all are.
We wait through the long winter nights,
Feigning ignorance about what is happening around.
Completely ignoring the signals,
That we get through our skins
We count on the rains to come!
We forget there is El Nino and La Nina,
We forget there are thousand other possibilities.
We just wait....
As if wait will bring the desired..
As if it required just a bit more waiting..
As if waiting has been enough!! Ever!
I only thought love is a deep friendship
And caring for the other
And that deep desire to prolong the meeting,
as much as possible....
It seems I could not have been further,
from the definition of true love.
I waited for love, still.
Or that's what I thought!
I then started working towards getting some.
From the man, who was ordained by his social position to love me! (Poor him! in retrospect)
'Though they said, "Do not seek love at any cost
For love does not have a price!"
I still went ahead.
In your youth you are not supposed to learn from popular wisdom!
I kept trying and then forgot to stop!
In hindsight, it seems, it was inertia of motion.
Inertia of motion. That is exactly what it is even now.
I can not stop talking to you once I start.
I therefore try not to speak at all.
But you do not allow that, do you?
You want to talk but you do not want to continue.
You want to reach out but you can not be a friend.
You want me to stay but you can not love.
You lost that in you..
You have to have follies to be a friend.
You have to have the courage to be vulnerable, to love.
Your sentences have to be imperfect,
Laced with emotions that you felt.
You could not be infallible then.
I miss that imperfect friend in you.
I missed the friend in him too.
The friend that he once was.
The desire of friendship that replaced the desire of love,
As the lack of love became a reality that I lived with.
But the bar was set too low
And the disappearance was slow.
It took me years to understand I lost that too.
The temperature of the water was raised ever so slowly
And like the proverbial frog, I missed the danger signals.
I was boiled in the same water that I thought was my world.
Frogs we all are.
We wait through the long winter nights,
Feigning ignorance about what is happening around.
Completely ignoring the signals,
That we get through our skins
We count on the rains to come!
We forget there is El Nino and La Nina,
We forget there are thousand other possibilities.
We just wait....
As if wait will bring the desired..
As if it required just a bit more waiting..
As if waiting has been enough!! Ever!
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