The long and short of ten years

Ten years is a really long time ...
It is really a long time to understand
That he does not really love you
Not anymore.
Probably, he never did. 

Ten years is enough time to know
that you have a lone bed,
Although two people occupy it
And your days are empty
Although you are often asked about him.
Its a really a long time to finally know
you don't have a hand to support you,
When you are in pain.

Ten years is a long time to know that
He would not be there when you really need him.
To celebrate a joy,
To share a pain,
To just sit there and say nothing.
It is long to not to be able to notice that 
He comes back when he wants
He talks when he wants
He responds when he wants.
It is too long to not to notice the lack of consistency.
Too long to expect he would understand, surely, one day,
That it is you, only you who he loves.

But then...
Ten years is a really short time to stop loving.
To not to trust love.
To not to believe in human ability to cure.
To forget those eyes.
To convince yourself to not to hear, read or know him. 
Or not to wait for him. Ever.
It is really too short.

Ten years are only ten times around the sun.
The earth has done it a million times.